


New Beginnings

by loveintheafterglow



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst to come, Chaptered, Denial, Doctor Louis, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, New Year's Resolutions, No Major Character Death, Smut, Will add more as story develops, Writer Harry, complicated stuff, couldn't resist, eventually, larry stylinson - Freeform, slow build up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 12:56:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5586280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveintheafterglow/pseuds/loveintheafterglow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis Tomlinson has a life most people dream of: Perfect grades, Football captain, Medical Student. But behind the illusion is someone unsure about the future and the decisions he's made in his life.  When he returns home for the New Year from his first term at Univeristy he meets Harry, a boy who has lived in his village all his life. Harry's ideas about the world captivate Louis as much as they frighten him. This first meeting sets off a pattern of encounters occurring every New Year's Eve for many years. A both boys share their thoughts and new beginnings they grow into men who realise through each other that there is no perfect way to live a life or to love another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been playing around with this idea for ages. Finally decided it was time to actually write it and put it up (appropriately) in time for the New Year. Harry is 17, and Louis just turned 19 in this chapter. The next chapter will be one year later and so forth. Any mistakes let me know. Please leave Kudos if you enjoy and subscribe! I would love to hear your comments.

It was New Years Eve and the football Club in Holmes Chapel was crowded with the usual crowd plus a few younger ones back for a brief reunion before University classes restarted next week. Louis was one of these people, persuaded by his best friend Stan to “Have this one night off, mate, come on”. He had therefore packed away his medical textbooks choosing to leave memorising the anatomical landmarks of the thorax and abdomen until sometime next year.  
No doubt due to his commitment to his studies over the past few months his alcohol tolerance had reduced substantially. Therefore, he found himself very tipsy on a couple of beers and had managed to lose Stan and all his other friends. This was an impressive feat as the football club was in fact rather small. It could also hardly be said that Holmes Chapel was the place to be at the Eve of a New Year. Yet still here he was, head spinning and balance on the wobbly side, searching for any familiar face. This should not have been particularly hard since at least half the drinkers at the club were middle aged men with beer bellies – making them easily distinguishable from Louis’s friends most of whom had been on the football team with him at his old school. 

Deciding he was unlikely to locate anyone by standing dumbly at the corner of the room he squeezed himself through the crowd of semi- familiar faces, some of whom definitely weren’t old enough to be drinking – how things had changed in a mere three months of being away in London! Upon succeeding to pass these obnoxiously dressed teens he caught a glimpse of his ex-girlfriend Hannah talking to the captain of the Holmes Chapel Comprehensive Football Team, Josh. As Louis had been Football Captain at King’s, the local Prep school’s team, neither Scott nor his ex-girlfriend were a welcome face. Wanting to avoid an awkward conversation he quickly made a beeline for a glass door which upon opening it he found led to a small balcony overlooking the street below. It was dark here compared to the bright lights inside, the only light coming from apart from a single traffic light on the street below. Glad for the chance to breathe clean air instead of the mixture of sweat and stale beer he did not immediately realise he was not alone, that was until he collided with something about his height, although unexpectedly soft.

“Woah will you watch where you’re—oh Louis” said the lump.

Confused, Louis took three steps back, the better to see this oversized talking teddy bear. He managed to stumble and hit the pub’s wall in the process, felt his feet fly from beneath him as he almost slipped to the floor, managing only at the last second to steady himself by clutching a piece of gold and red tinsel.  
Unabashed from this spectacle, he looked up and saw that the lump was not a teddy bear at all; rather it was a guy with a mop of curly black hair looking at him with an air of someone not knowing whether to pity or laugh at him. His many layers of clothing were topped with a Christmas jumper his grandmother had probably given him for Christmas, which at least explained the soft collision. Even in his alcohol induced blur Louis could not help but note how breathtakingly beautiful he was in spite of the odd attire and the fact that he was clearly not yet eighteen. 

In a moment of breakdown in reasoning between his common sense and his voice box Louis said “How does curly know my name? I know that I don’t know him not noooo.”

“Oh I’m sorry... That was a bit creepy of me ... You don’t know me, I mean of course you don’t… It’s just well you’re Captain of the football team at King’s right? My best mate Niall he’s on the team for our school and I watched the championship game you know-” 

“Sssssshhhhh curly, you talking too much too quick. No need to explain yourself to little old me. Did you know you’re cute when you flustered?”

The guy blushed furiously crimson and ducked his head. Sighing he said “I’m just really good with faces and names, I didn’t make a point of remembering you or anything - Great last minute penalty by the way - now I’m rambling, I’ll stop… Would you like a hand getting up?” 

Louis didn’t manage to reply other than making an indistinguishable noise as he attempted to hoist himself up. He would take what was remaining of his pride and get himself over to the bar gracefully. This strangely cute child was not going to embarrass him further in his drunken state. However as luck would have it Louis lost his balance on the attempt, and lurched forwards making grabby hands at the young boy, missed him by half a metre and then planted face first onto the wet floor of the balcony.

A loud thump and a surprised “Ow” was heard as his head hit the floor. 

Rushing to his aid, the curly haired boy leant down to see Louis with a cut above his left eyebrow and a bleeding upper lip. “You Okay Louis?” he asked green eyes boring deep into Louis’s blue pair searching for his reaction. Louis stared without really seeing the eyes which he would later only remember as vividly green. He looked concerned. Maybe something that could be mistaken as love under the influence. Or probably just common human decency. 

“Don’t get help. Stay” said Louis, quietly.

The curly haired lad looked torn between properly looking after this young man before him and spending a lifetime looking into his eyes. He tentatively reached a hand to above his brow and carefully traced its shape, a perfect curve, gently wiping away the blood beginning to collect there.

“If you want me to” he whispered, like a secret, hoping no one would come outside and impose on this moment. 

It felt precious to both boys, simply looking into one another’s eyes. Perhaps they recognised something there, like one does with some people. Not love per se, just a recognition. A familiarity. Neither knew enough about the world to know what it might mean, this moment, only that it did mean something. You – there’s something about you. It was a thought that both had in that instant, a brief pause in time where both men glimpsed what this person before them might mean to their life. Neither was right nor were they mistaken. 

Eventually, the younger lad broke their silent observations “Okay, I’m just going to get you some water. Will you be alright for two minutes?”

Louis nodded, a child in this situation despite being the clear older one. The mysterious curly haired boy left, leaving him alone on the balcony floor – where admittedly he was less of a danger to himself. Unless he managed to fall off onto the street or something. He took a moment to recover himself from the intensity of the moment that had just passed. It may have been the alcohol talking but it had felt like he was seeing into the other guy’s soul. Deciding he should text Liam to see if this is a normal thing he pulled out his phone. On trying to unlock it he saw that it had already died. Perfect. Deciding whether this was a true or fabricated fantasy meeting would have to wait until morning then. He wondered if the curly haired stranger would return. Going inside was probably a convenient escape in time to find his stunning girlfriend to kiss at midnight. 

Louis curses himself for being stupid and lonely enough to make a big deal out of a small moment of eye contact. At his first year of University, things had never looked so bleak approaching a New Year. Having finally come to terms with his sexuality and admitting he might have a preference for boys, he was no closer to coming out here at home. Looking into the empty street below, everyone either already at a party or not bothering with to celebrate this year, the single red light illuminating the scene mocked him. Black empty, and his life at a stop. Exactly how he felt. He watched it rhythmically turn, orange then green. Back to Amber then Red again. Start, Pause, Stop. 

“Heeeey – You hanging in there all right?” the cheery voice of the curly haired lad startled Louis from his thoughts. 

He was taken aback further by the four plastic pint glasses of water he was carrying in his enormous hands. Really big. Louis gulped. As if he needed more fuel to add to his ridiculous liquor induced fantasies. 

“Here drink one of these. It’ll help” Louis obliged, the water tasting funny after many hours of beer and cheap champagne. 

“Thanks Curly” he said, leaning on the balcony next to the beautiful stranger, glancing quickly into those green eyes again. Half afraid of never being able to look away again. 

“Harry” he says.

“Harry?”

“Harry. My names Harry. Go to Holmes Chapel High.”

“Louis. Although you already knew that. Was at King’s. Now I’m in London at King’s the Uni.”

Harry bless him looks genuinely interested. “Oh really? What you studying?”

“Medicine.”

“Oh wow that’s-“ Harry swallows his congratulations at the look on Louis face. “Not all it’s cracked up to be?”

“You sure you want to hear? Be warned I am a bit of a talker, especially when I’m drunk.”

“I have all year” he replies with a knowing smirk, expecting Louis to laugh. Louis obliges. Briefly. 

“Okay. But you don’t get to be bored with me because I did warn you, and it’s gonna sound moany.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

He gulps down the entire pint of water before launching into the things that have been bothering him for the past three months. Looking back, he couldn’t tell you why he chose to tell this strange boy with big green eyes over one of his friends. Maybe sometimes it’s easier to tell the truth to strangers. They have no expectations. Or maybe it would have been easy to tell Harry anything in the world. 

“It’s just that everyone is so proud of you and when they ask you how it’s going and there’s this expectation that it’s really great. And you want so much to say that it’s brilliant after the effort it took to get there, but if you’re being really honest with yourself it’s mostly really hard and confusing and you have no idea what you’re doing or what the lecturer is talking about. And don’t get me started on the people – they’re all so much more intelligent than I ever have or will be. I’m thinking to myself how do I live up to that? All the while I feel every day I’m drowning under the workload and maybe tomorrow I’m gonna wake up and find that I’m six feet under and I can hardly breathe.” 

As he finishes he meets Harry’s eyes and he’s looking at him with such sincerity that he almost feels like he’s drowning all over again.

“Hey. I get it. It’s competitive, you’re bound to feel inferior but Louis just because someone can make you feel like your worth less, doesn’t actually make that true. You're there for five years right? Do you really think anyone can learn everything in the first three months?”

“I know it’s stupid. Irrational even. Still can’t help feeling it though.”

“Louis” Harry pauses clearly deep in thought.  
“Do you remember last year you arranged that all the children at the Hospice got the tickets to your Championship game? You even gave away the tickets your family should have had, just so that you get so that they could have that memory. It was in the paper. And you were also there because you were the youngest person in Cheshire to do 250 hours of volunteering in Cheshire last year. What I’m trying to say is – remember that there’s more to being a doctor than understanding the science of it. You’re a good person Louis, and that counts for a hell of a lot more.”

Louis is silent for a while thinking over Harry’s words. Partly he registers the insanity of how much this guy knows about him – as if the whole “seeing into his soul” moment from earlier wasn’t weird enough. Somehow, Harry knowing a lot about him isn’t concerning – it’s comforting. It makes him familiar. Trustworthy. He also he thinks on the truth in his words. His own tendency to talk himself down. He feels elated already, and also a little more sober. 

“Thanks Harry. Have you considered becoming like a counsellor or something?”

“Nah I’m just practised at dealing with angsty teens.”

”Angsty teens!?” Louis acts affronted. “I must be a good two years older than you.” 

“One actually. I’m in my last year” he replies with a pout

“Still. I’m not angsty” Louis pouts back, overexaggerated. “Alright, maybe I am a little melodramatic. I did consider acting before medicine you know”

“Do you regret choosing to become a Doctor over an actor?”

“Nah, fame would’ve driven me crazy. Popularity never suited me much. My mum was a midwife so I’ve always had that interest in Healthcare you know. Plus Dr.Tomlinson has a nice ring to it. ”

Harry smiles. “Louis Tomlinson doesn’t like being popular. That’s news.”

“In what way?”

“Football Captain. Head Boy. Medical Student. You have it all. Why wouldn’t you want that?”

“It’s not all that Great. And it only means anything within 5 square miles. Outside of here - I’m nobody.”

“You’re always somebody, Louis.” says Harry. 

He says it plainly without a hint of irony. Louis is again taken aback but he considers his words for a moment. Howe does one respond to a statement like that? 

Stalling he directed the conversation away from himself “Okay Harold who are you?”

“Me?” he seemed surprised by the change in topic, perhaps less at ease with picking apart the aspects of his own life. Yet when he spoke he spoke fluidly. 

“I’m the kid who sits somewhere between the front and the back of the class – not the nerd but not the class clown either. I’m the one who doesn’t raise their hand in class, but can answer the question if the teacher asks it to me. I’m not the best in my year, but I don’t struggle either. I’m forgettable. Mr.Mundane - I’m the dreamer who reads so much and imagines stories in my head but I’m not the person who does those things. I’ve never gotten arrested, never had sex in some wild location, taken drugs, smoked, I’ve never done any of those exiting things that all teenagers do.”

“Do you think I’ve done any of those things?”

“Umm... well I mean have you?”

“Not unless you count sex in my own bedroom wild. No, I haven’t.”

Harry was silent at this. They both drank some more of the water. Louis finishing a second pint was feeling a lot more sober. Louis had a feeling that Harry hadn’t been drinking at all. 

“You have time you know, to live. After school. It seems like ages away but it isn’t. You thought about it yet?” 

“I’ve thought about it sure. Doesn’t mean I’ve decided what to do though. Don’t think Uni is for me so I haven’t applied yet. I still could, but I’d rather do some travelling. I fancy America.”

“Why America?”

“It’s stupid, but whenever I was younger and arguing with my dad I always used to think to myself ‘When I’m older I’m living in America’. I’ve never been, so the place still holds that meaning of escape for me. So when I started thinking about a Gap year travelling it seemed like the only logical place to start looking for freedom, to find out who I am.”

“You’re not too specific in all 52 states though. You’d probably get lost, not find yourself” said Louis

“Um.. I suppose you’re right. I haven’t really thought it out… like I said, stupid really”

Now Louis felt bad. Harry had not only made him feel better about his problems he had complemented Louis in the nicest way. And he had in return, made a scathing comment about Harry’s dreams, and his aspirations for the future. Not that Louis thought you could “Find yourself” on a year abroad but he should have been nicer about it either way. 

“I’m sorr-“ Louis swallows his apology and goes on “Okay forget I said anything. I’m the boring one who’s done everything by the book. You get to America - what then?”

“Dunno. Check into a motel somewhere… try and get work in a bar somewhere in the Midwest maybe…” 

Now Louis really is straining not to laugh at the idea “And then all those American girls will be instantly charmed by your accent right? …You realise your life isn’t ‘Love Actually’ don’t you?”

Harry looks almost offended for half a second then he burst out into this raucous laughter mouth wide open, head thrown back. Anyone else would have looked utterly unattractive but Harry… well there was something endearing about the honesty with which he laughed… unashamed with no attempt to hide his hysteria. Louis had checked his expression to stop himself from smiling too much – how had he become so fond so quickly?

“Nah not really. I’d really like to be a writer and for me becoming a good writer isn’t about being taught how to write better. I think it’s about experiencing the world and encountering characters I’ve never even imagined. It’s about gaining new perspectives and reflections on the world - I don’t think I can do that in a classroom.”

There’s a silent pause in conversation as Louis realises he’s been holding his breath. His ideas, so abstract to him, someone who’s only ever done exactly what the world expected of him. What's his plan? Work hard, get his A levels, Go to College, Graduate, Become a Doctor, Marry, have Kids who go to college and – what then? 

Despite being younger, Harry is – there’s no other world for it – captivating. This person who can put into words in minutes what he’s been trying to work out over several months. His frustration at the professional world he’s entered himself into so young, the lack of control he feels despite having freedom for the first time in his life. Harry, has understood that already and he’s preparing to avoid it – how can Louis ever laugh at that? 

They’ve both been quiet for a while, as Louis was lost in thought. He’s about to think of something else to say – he’s been staring at this beautiful person far too long when the countdown starts inside and breaks both their thoughts. 

“TEN, NINE, EIGHT-"

Harry’s eyes are bright, suddenly pupils wide, intense, awake. Green and blue meet again. Eager. With promise. 

“SEVEN, SIX-”

Louis isn’t sure what to do… He’s not sure if Harry even likes him but they’re drawing closer to each other on the balcony that’s all theirs.

“FIVE, FOUR-”

Louis moves his hand off the balcony railing. Reaching out…

“THREE, TWO-” 

A split second hesitation, he goes to put his hand back down.

“ONE-“ 

Louis mistakenly places his palm onto Harry’s freezing hand. An electiricy courses through him, nerve endings on fire. 

“HAPPY NEW YEAR” echoes from inside the Club.  
“Happy New Year Lou” whispers Harry, lips close than sin.

Louis can’t breathe, muscles paralysed in time and place. He wants to reach out. Close the gap between them. The only two things in the world are those green eyes and the point where their hands are touching. He watched Harry blink as he feels his heart trying to escape his chest-

“WEEEEEEEEY!!” 

Suddenly burst through the door a crowd celebrators from the football club. In a heartbeat they separate, both hands return to their sides, Harry is metres away, his face bowed, eyes no longer meeting. 

“TOMMO!” yells Stan from amid the crowd. This is where you’ve been hiding! Been looking everywhere for you mate. Where’ve you been? Come see the fireworks!”

Thankfully he’s too excited to await an explanation. Louis lets himself be dragged away into the street so that they can watch the fireworks from the square. There's a distinct sense of anticlimax, of being denied a precious memory. 

They reach the square and there's the usual display. The explosions of noise and a kaleidoscope of shapes and colours. Louis can't help but notice how none of the green specks of light are close to the bright and beauty of Harry's eyes. He's going crazy. He must be high on something. 

Louis glanced back towards the football club, but can’t make out Harry on the now crowded balcony. No doubt he would have left it by now anyhow. He felt a pang for not having said goodbye. What if he never saw him again – the boy with the beautiful eyes, beautiful thoughts, and precious curls. He didn’t even get a full name. Or wish him a Happy New Year back. 

Well, he thinks as more bangs go off in the background. He's still looking at the balcony instead of the colourful sky. It's been the best start to a New Year he's ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> So that was chapter one - more of an intro really! Let me know what you think. Hoping to have the next chapter up soon!.
> 
> Please leave Kudos if you enjoyed it and subscribe to know when I update! I would love to hear your comments so pretty please would you take a few minutes to write something small 
> 
> Lots of Love, R. xx


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